When is it time to walk away from a friendship? How many lies are too many? How many arguments are too much? Those are difficult questions to answer. They differ from friend to friend.
For some, you’ll go to the ends of the earth. For others, you won’t even get out of bed. Often, what ends up happening is the person you’d go to the ends of the earth for, wouldn’t get out of bed for you. And that’s a difficult pill to swallow. But that’s life, isn’t it?
Recently, I stopped talking to one of my friends, let’s call her Sera. Sera and I had known each other since freshman year in high school, though it felt like we’d known each other our whole lives. We knew everything about each other. We shared everything with each other. She was one of my best friends. For a long time, she was my only best friend.
But, of late, I’d started noticing that our friendship was becoming more of a chore than a habit. I’d always be making effort to try and hang out with her and she wouldn’t be. She wouldn’t even send a single text message. If I never texted her, we never talked.
At first, I let her know how I felt. I let her know that this wasn’t okay and I’d appreciate if she put in some effort with me. Or, if she wanted to call this quits, then we could do that as well. I just wanted to know where I stood with her. She ended up apologizing. She said that, starting now, she’d put in more effort. She said we’d go back to how we were before; back in high school.
She lied. We went another year and nothing changed. I’d invite her out and she’d make up one excuse or another to get out of it. But then I’d see her on snapchat out with her friends from University…and that would hurt.
So, I ended up telling her like it is. I didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. I couldn’t keep giving 95% to someone who refused to even give me 5%. It was a difficult conversation to have, but one I’m glad I made time for. Of course, I still miss her. I have so many memories with her that it’s hard not to. I miss singing Magic with her while we were in Europe, I miss having deep conversations with her at Starbucks, I miss crashing fashion shows with her in downtown Toronto, among other things. But she’s moved on and I’ve moved on; just grown apart, I suppose.
It’s like that quote from Perks of Being a Wallflower, “Things change and friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody”.