Emotions are awful. Being an emotional person is awful. And being an emotional guy is just downright the worst thing that could ever happen to you. This is not me saying that emotional girls don’t have it rough, but being an emotional guy is just…bad. It even sounds wrong.
Science tells us that our personalities are determined both by heredity and the social environment; aka nature and nurture. They develop throughout our lifetime, but childhood is when the majority of the development occurs. Personality development slows down drastically the older you get.
Now, I grew up primarily with my mom. My dad wasn’t really around as much because of work, so my mom raised me. She’s an emotional person, and guess what, I turned out exactly like her. Growing up, she exposed me to TV shows like Winnie the Pooh and Disney movies like Beauty and the Beast and Hercules. The music I was exposed to made matters even worse. It was just 24/7 repeats of the Backstreet Boys, and N’ Sync, and the New Kids on the Block. That’s the music I grew up on; boy band music. And those things ended up sticking with me. And because of that, I ended up becoming the emotional mess I am today.
Part of being emotional means overthinking everything. It means remembering painful memories from the past and getting upset over and over again. It also means feeling lonely even when you’re surrounded by people. It’s hard too because my family and friends don’t understand it. They’re not at all like me so it becomes a challenge dealing with it. I cry way more than I should. I cry when friends leave, or when I go through a breakup, or when I fail a physics quiz that I studied weeks for. All that stuff makes me cry and I hate it. It makes life difficult. It makes meeting new people difficult because I get attached so easily.
It’s hard being emotional. It’s hard living like that. I wish I could say something positive about it, but I really can’t. I wish I wasn’t emotional. I wish I didn’t feel things as strongly as I did. I wish I didn’t care as much as I do…but it is what it is. And you just have to take it a day at a time.