When I was young younger, I used to have a crush on Alex from Wizards of Waverly Place. You know, the character played by Selena Gomez? It wasn’t just her looks though. I really liked her personality; tomboyish, fun, mischievous, and just the right amount of sweet. I started thinking of her as my dream girl. That became my type.

And from there on, I started to not really entertain the possibility of dating any girl who didn’t fit my type. It was either I find someone like Alex, or I find no one. It was very stupid of me. It was very childish of me. Quite frankly, it didn’t really make sense. How could I think Alex was my type when I’d never even dated anyone before? How could I think Alex was my dream girl when I didn’t even know if we’d mesh together properly?

That’s the problem with having types. Oh, you want a 6 foot guy with a thick head of hair? Well, what if he has anger issues? Oh, you want a girl who’s nice and sweet? Well, what if you end up finding her boring? Oh, you want someone who lives in the gym? Well, what if they put pineapple on their pizza?

There are so many potential deal breakers out there we don’t even consider when creating our dream partner. I probably overlooked many amazing girls in search for my Alex. And guess what? When I finally fell for someone, when I finally caught feelings, it wasn’t for Alex, it was for someone who was her exact opposite.

My first girlfriend was incredibly girly. She was sweet and caring and emotional. She wasn’t Alex. She was better. She was real. So many people, like me, will pass on an amazing person because of their over the top expectation that their dream partner is waiting for them right around the corner. They think their dream partner will just land on their lap with a stroke of destiny. That’s not life. Life is not some Judd Apatow movie. It just doesn’t work that way.

Don’t get me wrong, having a type is not some horrible issue. But only dating people that fit your type is limiting yourself to the possibility of finding someone whom you’ll have a very real and very genuine connection with. And isn’t that the goal? Finding someone you mesh with? Finding someone who gives you butterflies?

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