Can a guy and girl be just friends with each other? Yes, absolutely. Not every guy and girl can but many guys and girls can. Now, is it wise to fall for your friends? No, absolutely not. It’s messy and it’s complicated. It’s not like in the movies or in TV shows. Not all friendships can become relationships as easily as Chandler and Monica’s did. More often, it’s gonna end up being like Joey and Rachel.

Now, I’ve always been against blurring the line between a friendship and a relationship. That means don’t make out with your friend, don’t sleep with your friend, and don’t date your friend. But sometimes we can’t help it. Sometimes things happen and life gets difficult. For example, I think I’ve fallen in love with my best friend. And that sounds just as bad as it is.

Amid all the inside jokes and the constant teasing, I caught feelings. I say love really loosely though because, realistically, who the fuck knows what that is? I thought I was in love with my first girlfriend. I wasn’t. With my friend, though, it’s different. It’s a different sort of feeling. And it sucks because it happened so unexpectedly.

It feels like one second she was telling me about all her problems with her boyfriend and the next I was wishing that I was her boyfriend. Obviously though, I wasn’t gonna tell her anything cause of my strict moral code–I’m not a home wrecker. So I didn’t. I put up a front and I listened every time she wanted to complain about her boyfriend, and you know what, I always supported her boyfriend, which probably sounds incredibly sad, and it is, but I knew how happy he made her so I wasn’t going to let her break up with him over just any small issue. And my feelings were irrelevant there. I would be over her in a few weeks…no big deal.

Flash forward a year and I can’t stop thinking about her. She’s the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I think about before I go to sleep, cliché but it’s true. Whenever something even remotely exciting happens to me, she’s the first person I wanna tell or I immediately wish that she was there to see it happen with me. Everything she’s insecure about, I can’t help but fawn over. So yeah, I’m pretty fucked here.

Last month I finally worked up the courage to tell her how I felt. We ended up going on two dates and then she ended it. She texted me some long winded explanation about why she couldn’t continue with this, but I didn’t really understand it. I couldn’t. All I could think about was how pretty her eyes were the last time I saw her. I repeat; I’m fucked.

Obviously though I can’t force her to keep trying with me. So, now I have to try and move on. But that’s hard because I talk to her everyday and I see her so much. And I can’t just stop talking to her or seeing her because she’s my best friend and I don’t wanna lose her. But how else am I supposed to move on? I mean, it’s been a year and I’m absolutely crazy about her.

I’ve tried different things too. The first 10 months before I told her how I felt, I tried sleeping around. I thought I could get rid of my feelings that way. It didn’t work. It just made me feel really empty so I put a stop to it. Then I tried dating someone else. That ended up blowing up in my face. So, I’m just in limbo now. And I don’t know what to do.

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