When you trust someone, you’re essentially giving them a loaded gun pointed in your direction, with the hope that they won’t pull the trigger. More often than not, people will pull it, and you’ll load the gun up and hand it right back to them.
How many times does someone have to break your trust for you to stop loading their gun? How many times does it take for you to realize that you’re better off not trusting them at all? Or not trusting at all?
It’s a difficult choice to make. The person you trust is your comfort place, and they didn’t become your comfort place overnight. It took you time to develop that comfort with them, so when they break your trust, it hurts. And when they do it again and again, you start to lose that trust altogether. It gets to a point where you start to expect that from everyone you meet. Essentially, you shut yourself off.
For me, it’s always been difficult to trust people. I think of it as a character flaw. There are things that I’m very open about and then there are things that I’m not open about. I’ve met plenty of genuine people in my life that I was unable to fully trust. In retrospect, I should’ve trusted them over those that I did. So far, there have only been 2 people whom I trusted 100%, and both of those people broke my trust. The first person broke it two years ago and the second person broke it a few days ago.
What I’ve learned is that people judge, even the people you love. You can try your best for them but they’ll only see what they want to see. And it sucks especially when you care about what they think. Now, I’ve never been one to care what others thought about me. But there was one person whose opinion mattered to me. It still does. But I’ve given up on them because they gave up on me. They lied to me and judged my every move. They didn’t deserve to know me like they did. They won’t ever again.